Exam Passing Kit

Hello everybody,

It seems that everybody (including myself) have their exams coming up and I would like to wish you all the best of luck and no doubt some of you will need it.

Before I go on to what this blog is actually about I'd like to point out that while I am wishing everyone luck, if everybody is the people who read this, then everybody is really a very small figure.

Anyway you all no doubt have some form of revision technique.

During exam periods the number of statuses posted on Facebook increases exponentially. People will literally use ANY excuse to let you know what is going on in their lives. I certainly do not rise above this.

The last few magic moments from the life of James Watson have been:

1. "Kenny Rogers at the Edinburgh playhouse? Who's game?!"
2. "Loves Obama again after his speech about the future of NASA!!"
3. "Come on Tottenham!!!!"
4. "Starting to consider the very remote possibility that I should have gone to more tutorials this year."

Who cares?!

The very idea that I should post these things with the opinion that another sentient being outside my skull gives a toss is incredibly vain. I'd like to apologise now for all of them.

Anyway here is my exam survival internet kit. I will be making this up as I go along:

• http://armorgames.com/play/5665/the-flood-runner-2 - Fantastic game. Will while away many an hour!
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjnuBTPOaKY - The Butterfield Diet Plan. If you don't want to revise, I suggest you lose some weight!
• http://www.youtube.com/user/4oDDocumentaries - Tired of learning about things which you need to pass. Why not learn about other things which always seem to be more interesting than whatever your subject is?!
• http://www.kittehroulette.com/ - Look at a random selection of videos of cats
• http://uk.akinator.com/ Try and outsmart this person who tries to think of who you are thinking of. MORE FUN THAN IT SOUNDS
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tm6cqpJvsT4 - Watch this repeatedly safe in the knowledge that you will never be in more pain than this man is in at that moment.

With these tools I can guarantee you will be able to procrastinate for many hours whilst you should be fulfilling more meaningful tasks that probably will get us better jobs. Really we should be happy to revise when you think about it. Better grades are a sure fire way of getting a better job, but in the short term we are far more interested in someone who we VAGUELY know on Facebook and what they are getting up to at the weekend. The term for it is time-inconsistency.

Anyway, I hope those links keep you wildly entertained for many years to come!

James

Update

Sorry I have not put anything up here in so long. I suppose you could say I haven't really had anything to say, but you'd be wrong if you said that, so you probably shouldn't.

I've been off university for Easter but the fact of the matter is I have done far more work in this last week and a half than in pretty much the entirety of last semester. The first two years of university could easily be done in one year, but then that would take the fun out of university. Not doing anything at university is a learning experience. For one thing you learn how to fill the time by doing anything except working. There are so many things to do which are far more fun than my course! In any case, a couple of weeks work and you can learn the course because normally your lecturers basically tell you what is going to be in the exam anyway because they don't really want anybody to fail.

Anyway a few things have been on my mind recently. Here are a few that I can remember:

• I hate it when food describes itself as "tasty" or "mouth watering" I am sure that whatever bastard is working in marketing who is writing that this chicken is "succulent" has never eaten the sodding product in his life. He is paid to potentially lie to thousands of people with the tool of packaging because many people will believe that a Rustlers burger is "tender" even though there are boots with a more tender nature, not to mention better seasoning. The idea that every product will be "tasty" is also a complete lie. There is a good chance that this sticker will at some point be slapped onto something which is moudly! I'd like it if people who had eaten the product could come into the supermarket after they had bought it and the product would have a space on the packaging for customer comments like "yeah it was alright, might get another one" or "DONT BYE DIS. HAD DA RUNS FOR FOUR DAYZ!!!!!" It would at least be a little more honest.
  
  
• While we are on the topic of food another advertising idea which really pisses me off is when supermarkets point out that their chickens are "100% Pure British" Thats ONE HUNDRED PERCENT PURE BRITISH. Not just 50% British. Oh no, this isn't the sort of chicken whose father had an affair with and then married married their Polish house maid. This is an upstanding "renaissance man" sort of chicken. This is a 100 percent British chicken. This isnt even a chicken, whose Jewish mother, fearing persecution from the Nazis during the second world war, fled to France, to marry a French farmer, only to have to flee to Britain after the German invasion of France in the summer of 1940 to start over a new life in a strange country. THIS IS 100 PERCENT BRITISH. A queen loving, god fearing British chicken. Get a bloody grip, its British or it's not.
  
  
• I've had rather a good idea which will never happen but would nonetheless be quite a good idea. There is a lot of problems with drink driving in the UK, and a lot of people do it, putting other drivers who are sober at serious risk and costing the NHS a lot of money. So I have an idea. When the pubs close between 1am and 2am is DRINK-DRIVING HOUR. For one hour drink driving is completely legal. Not only this but it will be an offence to be caught on the road sober. Drink drivers will be free to drive as drunk as they want for one hour to get home. No other motorists will be allowed on the road ensuring that drink drivers will only crash into other drink drivers and unfortunate pedestrians. During this hour any 999 call relating to a road traffic accident will not be answered and it will be assumed that you are absolutely smashed and have crashed your car under the influence of drink. Over time the bad drink drivers will be whittled down as the worse ones succumb to one too many pints at the pub and don't make it home. The best drink drivers will survive. After 2am its business as usual! Of course daylight savings will be a special occasion. For two nights of the year, drink driving is legal for 3 HOURS A NIGHT! This is due to discrepancies of when people change their clocks at either midnight or 2am. It will also make sure that nobody is sober on the roads. Its a twisted beautiful idea of Darwinism at work and I really think it would save a lot of people and get rid of a lot of morons!

Well those are my ideas and thoughts of recent. I also noted that much of my conceptions about Roman Catholicism are entirely based on the fantastic television series, Father Ted. I have decided that this probably isnt a good idea and I have decided to watch a history of Christianity television series which has been quite good so far.

I hope you are all well! Will try and remember to update this more often. You're all great! And if you aren't, you'll probably never know I don't think you're great!

James